Kentucky's "Real-Life Dexter" Is Really Fake

Hudson Hongo · 07/10/14 02:20PM

"Wouldn't it be crazy if [TV show I watch] were real?" That's the thought that had Showtime subscribers losing their shit this week after an article came out about 17 dismembered bodies being found in the Ohio River near Henderson, Ky. According to the report, the victims were wrapped in individual plastic bags and some had "extensive criminal records," causing police to speculate the murders were possibly "inspired by the television series Dexter."

Zombie-Like Mystery Epidemic in Texas Is Just Another Dumb Hoax

Hudson Hongo · 07/08/14 03:00PM

Solidifying their status as the very worst "satire" site on the Internet, the fake and bad National Report decided to capitalize on a full-fledged humanitarian crisis on Saturday, publishing an article titled "CDC Investigates Mystery Illness Spreading Through Border Towns." As described in the story, the immigrant-carried outbreak has caused victims in Texas to regress to a "primitive brain state" becoming "very hostile and territorial, almost like feral dogs." By Monday, the vague parody of xenophobic hysteria had completely succeeded, but only at drumming up further xenophobic hysteria:

"Extreme Stalker" Who Called Ex 77,000 Times Is a Different Maniac

Hudson Hongo · 07/07/14 03:00PM

Radio stations across the country hit sweet, psycho ex-girlfriend paydirt last week when they dug up this article about "the most extreme case of stalking ever recorded in the history of the country." According to the story, one Linda Murphy was arrested in New Mexico after calling her ex-boyfriend 77,639 times in one week. "Can you imagine all the energy drinks she must have consumed to have all those sleepless nights?!" asked San Francisco's 99.7 NOW, failing to first ask if the totally bogus article was fake.