Zombie-Like Mystery Epidemic in Texas Is Just Another Dumb Hoax

Solidifying their status as the very worst "satire" site on the Internet, the fake and bad National Report decided to capitalize on a full-fledged humanitarian crisis on Saturday, publishing an article titled "CDC Investigates Mystery Illness Spreading Through Border Towns." As described in the story, the immigrant-carried outbreak has caused victims in Texas to regress to a "primitive brain state" becoming "very hostile and territorial, almost like feral dogs." By Monday, the vague parody of xenophobic hysteria had completely succeeded, but only at drumming up further xenophobic hysteria:

Zombie-Like Mystery Epidemic in Texas Is Just Another Dumb Hoax

Asked about the supposed epidemic, CDC spokesperson Llelwyn Grant told Gawker the agency is "not aware of any mysterious outbreak occurring in southern Texas or California." Furthermore, Grant said, "The names and sources quoted in the [National Report] article are fictitious," confirming that while the mystery illness is totally fake, unscrupulous hoax news sites are unfortunately very real.

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